You’re not my dream guy.

“It’s funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.”
Rick Riordan

I remember how we used to talk about boys when we were younger and how this notion of a ‘dream guy’ formed in our minds. How we had a list of traits we secretly kept scribbled on a page of our diaries on how we wished our prince was going to be like. How these lists were amended based on our experiences growing up, pop culture and more. How this translated into our conversations with our girlfriends and even our moms when the topic came up. How I had this picture of how my ‘dream guy’ would be etched in my mind. How I knew that meeting someone like that would be seemingly impossible but I was hoping anyway.

When we were younger, we had traits like ‘ kind, caring, strong, cute’ and more unattainable or maybe out of this world must-haves in our secret ‘dream guy’ criteria list on our diaries. How these characteristics evolved into more tangible and realistic must-haves is another story. Basically, I had this idea of how I wished my ‘dream guy’ could be like.

Then comes the part where love and life circumstances make you so jaded that you lose all hope in finding the right one. Thoughts like ‘ I’m better off alone’ and ‘ there’s no such thing as true love or finding someone who’s right for you’ fill our minds. Pessimistic and seemingly realistic thoughts like ‘ love is just a transaction’ and ‘ love fades anyway, just make do and get on with life’ turns innocent childhood dreams to dust. I’m sure we would agree that there’s no such thing as finding your ‘prince charming’, come on. But somehow, I secretly hoped that one day – After all those failed relationships and heartbreaks, I would be able to find this ‘dream guy’ that I have always wished for.

If you’ve read till this point you must be wondering, why are you writing about this?

Like many other #thoughtposts written at midnight, this was a thought that struck me while I was reflecting on my relationship. How I realised that the man I am so in love with is not my ‘dream guy’ at all.

This was what I wished for in a guy – He doesn’t have to be rich, he has to be driven. He has to have clear goals he is working towards. He has to love travelling and is adventurous. He has to be of good temperament. He has to accept me for who I am and not change me into a girl he wished I could be. The rest of the list was filled with what I did not want in my ‘dream guy’ but I’ll spare you from that list.

What I want to say is:

He’s not my dream guy. Because he doesn’t love travelling and does not have a heart for wandering the world. He loves travelling just because it allows the both of us to experience and see new things for the first time.

He’s not my dream guy. Because he does not have clear goals. His goals are ever changing. It could be pursuing acting to photography to music and even writing.

He’s not my dream guy. Because he isn’t driven. He seems to have little interest in pursuing tangibles such as wealth and all the luxury associated to it. He’s more interested in his pockets of time spent on his favourite computer game and doing little things to make me smile.

He’s not my dream guy. Because he makes me cry all the time. We have the worst fights but with that being said, he’s the only guy who has made me so happy that I burst into uncontrollable tears as well.

Finding the ‘dream guy’ might seem impossible and part of our wishful thinking but it just takes a single thought in your heart reminding you to never lose hope. To never close your heart and numb yourself away from all that you’ve dreamt about. To open your heart to the possibility of finding that certain someone who would heal those wounds, tear those walls down and create beautiful memories with. To leave your heart open to change, to all the bumps and magic love has to offer. Remember to let go & let God, let nature run its course. Brace yourselves for bumps and fights that would make your heart ache so bad. But well, it’s all part of the journey so relish in the joy of this scenic rollercoaster ride.

He’s not my dream guy.

He’s so much more than I ever thought I needed.

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